Dear Pen Pal,ย
These are letters to myself, I recognize that now. I am writing words to be read that I wish had been said, to me, so now they must be said, by meโฆThis dream I dragged to life, into the real world, is less romantic in reality. I now live lucid and I cannot sleep. There is no bed time, only time in bed. There is nowhere to escape to now that my dream is on this side of open eyes. Erase the dates on the diary of the insomniac, tomorrow cannot come because I cannot end today. I squeeze my bloodshot eyes shut to suffocate it but it oozes out under my eyelids and I am left to stare at shadows of chronology. Unplug the alarm clocks, they are broken - frozen on today, they refuse to tell me the time tomorrow, I have no ETA. As the sun sets I dangle and hang myself, upside down, and watch the sun rise on the opposite side of the horizon. As it arcs over the hours, apexes and decrescendos I slowly lift, engaging my core, until I am sitting up again, in the bed, with the sheets twisted around my ankles, and it is today again.ย
I GIVE UP ON GOODNIGHT.ย
Love,ย
Ryan Anthony Dubeย
* Authorโs Note*
I have been struggling to sleep since leaving home. I have blamed it on the external environments but truthfully I believe it to be a mind that refuses to rest.
A pyramid of ways that you can support the project:
The reality can be more of a grind than the dream. The vacations of the future more alluring and exciting than the current beach. Our mind and bodies seem to want to be โsomewhere elseโ more than here and now. Fight the urge, leave later for later. ๐